i'm giving up, giving up slowly
i'm blending in so you won't even know me ;


went girlfriend's place today. some of them were there already. later, flirt came along & she told me some stuffs which are fucking irritating & i don't feel like saying it. felt damn screwed then, slept with airen for a while. (: then, went harbour for pasta & accompanied airen to get her heels. girlfriend got damn high lah. :D went back & kim & lyanne came. (: lyanne wore kim's jeans & she looked so funny in it! :D its seriously too big for her. haha. sihui came later then went town with them. & i'm so tired now! hurr. ):

don't feel like turning up for camp tmr. ): i'm so not in the mood for it. & i won't be seeing girlfriend till 15 days later, HURR! ):



so yesterday.

What am I supposed to do
With all these blues
Haunting me, everywhere, no matter what I do
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I cant let go
When will this night be over

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, its robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
Phantom ships, lost at sea
And one of them is mine
Raising my glass, I sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why
The stars don't seem to guide me

The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free
I hear the voices call
Following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul

sunshine,
i'm sorry for all i've put you through,
you have a whole lot of reasons to be happy now
so, please cheer up. (:

the waiting time is long
& as i stood up & walk away
i wonder if this is goodbye.

how did i fall in love with you



follow your heart, never your mind
your mind wonders but your heart's clear.

love is when you will still love her and still she will never know
love is when you will swallow the pain and slowly let go.

i'll love you more than that -


uhh, just thought of what bathu said when things just started & what cor said that day. used to tell myself things will not turn out this way & everything will be fine. guess i was blind. i don't blame cor for saying all that & being straight forward, maybe its cos i can't accept it right now.


if you're ready, open your heart & let me in
cos the pain is such a killer.


stupid will be at obs then church camp for a week! man, tory almost died just now. ): thanks weiling! :D everytime sth bad happened to tory, i'll call weiling. haha! stupid you better thank your friend! (: & please go get a phone, hurr.



you're my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are grey
you'll never know dear,
how much i love you
please don't take my sunshine away.

i've been fighting to let you go ;



ytd: met gerri with twin at bugis to pass her sth. (: walked her to meet her mum then we went sentosa. haha. believe it or not, its only the both of us. :D mer & char wanted to come, but didn't. ): waited for chess at delifrance for almost an hour! played luge when she came, then walked to palawan. stood at the 2 towers there, no sunset! ): sophia wasn't in a good mood, so went home.


i hope you like the gift. (:


everything's not right, without you here with me. will there be a day you'd come back? as i sit in the corner of my room ; as i toss in my bed, i wonder what can i do to make it up to you. thinking on stuffs that i can improve on to be a better one. it seems like things are falling apart & will never get back on track. how would you feel, if you were me.
take my hand, & fulfil my last dreams.


just tell me how you feel, i don't know what you're thinking of anymore.
i'll sing you one last song ;

nothing but an empty page ;


wasn't feeling well in school. ): so, didn't turn up for trng. uhh, went town to see doc. heh. pulled cor together with us & twin you better thank me for that! :D vinee & sumay left to meet others. saw them on the way to taka. ugh, same thing happened again. thank you girlfriend for that apple pie! (: all went home & was left with girlfriend. went cine after that, & we got stopped by the damn security guard for dropping a damn straw to basement?! whatthehell lah, & we hafta give them all our particulars. but, somehow we find it humorous. :D that security guard looks like a fucking puppet, haha!

& that stupid girl lost her damn phone! ugh. ): now, i can't contact her & her tama is happily with me, haha. hopefully it don't die. :/ no wonder i call you stupid. haha!

sentosa tmr? i don't know. i wanna play luge! it makes me happy. :D


its my resolution, i'm letting go
i just want to be the best man, i can't be

if only..

captured by a moment's grace,



school was fun! :D 98.7 justin & young came to our school. haha. & we went crazy lah, heh. after recess, slept in class. the sofa in ms lee's class is so comfortable la, heh. went ccab for trng after school. trng was so tough today, & some of us wanted to die. haha. probably cos we took too much rest during mid years, hurr. ): don't know if going school tmr. :/

& char came up with this song to make me happy whenever i'm sad, haha! :D
she's joy's sunshine,
joy's only sunshine
she make joy happy
when joy is sad
she'll never know dear,
how much joy love her
please don't take joy's sunshine away.


i just love char teo man! mer too! :D
& mer please stop being so mean to me, better be nicer tmr. haha.

worst scenario ; hatred within



at national stadium in the morning for syf. there's this lady who pronounce 'fly' as 'fry' so the title of the song turned out to be ' come fry with me'! damn funny la & we were too tired to move. hurr. & skorts will be compulsory next semester onwards, DUMB SHIT! checked results then went town. wanru was being irriating by trying to imitate whatever chess was doing! :D haha. & she irritated sophia when she was eating by saying that using a spoon is bad luck. hahah. :D


you must be happy now that you've got what you wanted. i know, i got into all these shit myself & no one's to blame. its funny how i get mesmerized whenever i look at you in the eye. never expected things to come to this stage whereby i don't seem to know you anymore & that i'm afraid to even speak up. tell me, is it over?


please come back home, cos i need you so much


pulled over ;

don't play with fire

flash back memories ;


school was kinda alright just that twin was being emo the whole time. cheer up, yeah. (: failed geog, damn it okay. anw, almost the whole e geog did. all that frog lah, keep scratching her armpit. gross shit.

trng was alright too. just that, got told off my speed decreased. why? cos i'm letting some other things affect me. twin's right, shldn't be letting unnecessary stuffs affect me in any damn way. rachelanne made my day during trng lah, though she's being annoying as usual. :D her laughter KILLS! ugh, haha.

syf tmr, & i'm kinda not feeling well. freezing on the way home man. heh.


i'm sick of wanting to know your whereabouts ; i'm sick of knowing stuffs that aren't that pleasant to my ears ; i'm sick of being pushed around like some fucked up toy ; i'm sick of breaking down whenever i think of you ; so sick of everything. i can't feel,no more. i can't be bothered with any damn thing in the world other than those that deserves. the first step taken, was the biggest regret ever. because of you, i find it hard to trust anymore & learnt to play on the safe side. & not wanting to be taking for granted of, i'm shutting myself out & i'm gonna close my heart till i've found someone who deserves it again.


not to meddle with fire ;
haven't you played enough?

the way i do,


just got home from sentosa! :D celebrated kelly's birthday there. haha.

went holland v with sumay & celine to get stuffs. took a cab to town, raffles city, chinatown then sentosa. haha. the cab driver was damn nice & irritating at the same time! ugh. played luge & it was damn fun lah, haha. celine crashed into the sides there. :D haha. LOUSY! sumay bought a ball & mat then we went to the beach. i kicked the ball to the other side of the beach, haha. we had nothing to do, so built a 'HOT-BOD'! :D its really HOT. haha! left ard 8 to harbour. took pics there & i left first.

hope kelly enjoyed her day though the whole chaos wasn't there. YOU KNOW WE LOVE YOU KELLY! :D


its my mistake to fall for you.

never thought i could want you, need you so bad.
never thought i'll wake up, finding myself falling so fast
never thought i'd need you,
now look what you've done
& i can't go on without you
i'm naked, i can't fake it
& i'm not that strong without you
never thought i could love you, the way i do.
i need you, like the ocean needs the tide.
sunshine, i miss you so. ):


i can't sleep! ugh. ): my life is screwed, & i just can't get things right. i want to lead a care-free life, where i don't hafta bother abt anything else. then, i'd be glad. (:
just caught a show on 55, & they were saying if you see a rainbow at night, its a miracle. (:
sunshine, i need a miracle badly.


when You brought the sunlight,
completed my whole life
i'm overwhelmed with gratitude
cos baby, i'm so thankful i've found You.

thats the best i can do.


wtf my mother is damn ugh! she ask me to wash the damn dishes when i didn't even use them?! i'm so not gonna wash lah, fuck shit. just got home from town. was with girlfriend & psychic the whole day. :D went suntec then town. ate yoshi & was getting high, haha. psychic left to meet her mother then we walked to wheelock just to use the toilet?! :D left to mc cafe & kim & wayne joined us. talked a while then home. (:

oh just realised i passed my lit! :D i think i'll fail for the rest, ugh whats new. haha. tmr's kelly's birthday! & i don't know if i can meet up with them at sentosa. ):

i'm so tempted to, but not now. its cos of you that i'm not doing it, so please don't tell me you are. & i feel like quitting school. ):


i'm sorry for loving you.

i miss your breath ; your smell.


wanted to go stupid girl's chalet, but not in the mood to. i'm sorry yeah.
last night, went over to stupid girl's chalet. & meiling was being an idiot okay! keep calling me disgusting! look who's disgusting! :D didn't know what to do there, so we ended up playing black jack. lose ching ching! ): not fun anymore. heh. left ard 10 plus.


everytime i try to forget everything & laugh along, there's just another thing that'll make me tear. & yes, actions speak louder than words, but have you gave me a chance to show it to you.you don't even spend time with me anymore. fuck it, i really hate to feel this way.


is it all, or are we just friends.

i'm just sick of crying whenever i think of you & giving up everything for nothing. things that are meant for me to be happy abt, turn out to be tears. when will you be able to trust that i'm not out for fun but serious with you.


i'll wait.

so tired of tears,


went girlfriend's house & twin was there too. then, town to play. (: saw mich there. :D she's retarded with her friends. haha. went arcade then galilee & met kelly! she really came with just shirt & shorts. hurr. walked to taka & back to cine. girlfriend carried me all the way there & sumay carried twin! :D wanru's strong man! met vinee & celine. (: had chaos dinner at pepper lunch! saw mer & char there & they're retarded lah. haha. stupid girl left town so early lah, STUPID!

sent girlfriend home, i shouldn't have anyway. damnit, i'm sorry! :/ i don't know if i should go to school tmr. & there's tough trng. ugh. ):

you're so helping by not replying. i feel like i don't know you anymore, & the distance is getting wider. on-off kinda feelings. ):


sunshine sunshine,
i've got you in my heart
& i feel like i'm loving you. :D

please don't take my sunshine away.



went for trng. :/ played games. damn dumb lah, but we won. :D rushed home then out to meet girlfriend, twin, sihui, airen & madcow! (: airen left, walked around town & saw jobelle they all. they're funny people. :D all of us were feeling damn shit lah, drank & all sorts. then, went holland v to meet gerri. walked many rounds then she decided to go playground. hurr.

okay, not in the mood to say anymore. i'm always feeling damn UGH! )':


cos i've lost you from my life.

karma, thats so true. forget everything that has happened, its in the past already. i'll try to put it behind & walk on. i suppose everything didn't even started cos you're heart's never there from the start. i'll learn to walk alone & stand up again. i've loved you more than you could ever thought of, but now i guess i'm taking my leave since you've been gone. take care, you.






if there's one thing i believe;
i'll see you somewhere down the road again

i'm sleeping with the ghost of you & me.


i can't study! ): i wanna go destress! i must do well for geog, if not there's no other subjs that can help anymore. & i just can't get my mind off some things, ugh! )':

saw someone's blog. good for you, you've been spending most of your time with her now. guess a step back won't make a difference as well.

michwong's at chalet now! ): i wanna go too! & we're supposed to wear same earings out lah, so cool! :D but she's got one more than me, unfair! ):


if you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today
if you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way
if you're not mine, then why does your heart return my call
if you're not mine, will i have the strength to stand at all

if i'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that i am
is there any way that i can stay in your arms
if i don't need you , then why am i crying on my bed
if i don't need you, then why does your name resound in my head.

never know what the future brings,
but i know this much is true
we'll make it through,
& i hope you're the one i share my life with
& i wish that you could be the one i die with
i hope i love you all my life.

i'm shutting myself out.

was at town with psychic just now! saw quite a number of ppl there. went galilee a while then to taka to buy clothes. saw someone who looks like michwong but i don't know if its really her. ): psychic was being nice cos she waited for my bus to come. (:

i don't want exams! ): its killing my brain cells. ugh!


your heart was never there.