HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLFRIEND, SIMWANRU! :D
still remember last year at seoul garden, hahaha! come to think of it, its rather funny :D oh well, i hope this other won't treat you bad as she said, she'll treat you good. i hope you'll enjoy your day (: don't let silly things affect your mood okay, haha.

backfired ;


whoohoo, tmr's wanru's birthday! everyone who's reading here, better wish my girlfriend! :D

just got back from town with chess (: had steamboat with wanru sumay lyanne celine & psychic, haha. i realised celine can eat much much more than me, so she can take the 'big eater' name, bleah. ugh, i wanna go for obm! but, its tooo long ): taman was already like a killer for me, haiya don't even know if i'll be allowed for it, haha. don't think sooo much! (:

i feel comfortable when i'm with you. i don't know what you call this but its rather funny. but, no one knows what the future holds so, i'll be waiting (:

things are getting rather out of hands,

hurr, there's 2.4 tmr! ): i haven't been doing much lately after nats & this is killer!

was so tired during bio today! & i don't know whats wrong with mswong cos she don't use to scold us when we sleep in class but, today she screamed at me when i was just lying on the damn table & writing down notes! ugh. oh, disecting some pig heart next week! :D can't wait lah, hope i don't faint :/ okay, there's pbl presentation on friday & i've only got tmr to do! ): & i hate hate hate school, i don't like to be reminded of stuffs all the time lah, ugh!

ding! don't be sad anymore! i'll always be here okay, & your coach must be blind lah, don't care about her. i'm sure she'll soon come to her senses one day (: if not, she suck haha.

if i should stay, i'll be getting in your way

ugh, school sucked cos i was daaamn tired ): stupid parents, go quarrel so late last night & woke me up. & mr poon was pms-ing today lah ): i told him i forgot to bring my worksheet & he answered like why the hell should i tell him, stupid. i somehow don't really look forward to school anymore! its like, just going to study then after that out with the usual people, nothing new haha. anw, went town after lesson with wanru, sumay, sihui & novelyn (: ate at crystal jade & talked alot as usual, haha. cine to meet maple that stupid ding! (: oh, we went galilee & that stupid bitch there showed us bloody attitude when we didn't even do anything! so, we decided not to buy anything & just sit there & played the tumbling blocks thing (: so fun! ding came up after a while then we just left, haha. that stupid bitch deserve to die, haha. after that, went da paolo with sumay & sihui. i don't really like cab drivers who talk alot when they're driving cos they tend to don't know whr the hell they're going & drive like some snail! the cab driver today was like daaamn talkative but he talks sense so, not that bad lah, haha. home ard 7 plus (:


all these time, you set me thinking. thinking if everything was worth to be worried about. i'm tired of saying all these already, i don't wanna think anymore. i just wanna say, i know you hate to see me sad & crying all the time but i can say i'll not be like this if only there's hope. if she can give you what you really need, i'll give up. even if it takes tearing my heart apart, at least i know you're happy though the person isn't me.


here we are at the crossroads again
you're telling me you're so confused
you can't make up your mind
is this meant to be?

but i believe for you & me
the sun will shine one day
so i'll just play my part
& pray you'll have a change of heart
but i can't make you see it through
that's something only love can do

that's it, we've lost it all

just read someone's blog, & it just made me feel like everything's over & done with. been thinking over & over again, i wish i could have an answer to it but even if i set my mind to do it, i know deep inside i'll not have the courage to.

when everything's meant to be broken,
i just want you to know who i am.

slacked at home ytd, & was watching my girl & i halfway! ugh ):

monster, i guess everything's just daaamn complicated now. sorry for having things turn out this way, thats all i can say. cos i know if i said any more, it'll be worse for you.


& why is it that everyone knows how much you mean to me, but not you.

i feel like a poor man & you're the queen ;

firstly,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO! PLEASE ENJOY THIS DAY OF YOURS & I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOURSELF YESTERDAY! I LOVE YOU! :D

met sumay at 11 plus, supposed to be shopping for jo's present but we ended up at subway, haha. went over to paragon to buy lilies! & on the way we saw this person, okay secret abt how she looks like & out of all ppl, i donated for her :D sumay bought cheesecake too then, cine to meet jo & lyanne (: vinee came too, & we can't finish the cake lah, it was soo much haha. went arcade then maple came for a while, haha. okay, she self-procclaimed that she's a sweet ASS :D then, headed to lvl 9. oh, & i went off for church ): ate with twin & her mum before meeting the rest. wha, when we stepped into the toilet, the first thing sihui told me was " you can't go in leh! wear like this sure cannot!" asshole, hahaha. waited for everyone to come, & its the first time i see chuyin like that! :D oh, did i mention, i love to mess up limsingh's hair! haha, so fun (: the musical was alright lah, just that quite drama & all. plus the 'elder' person, whalao can faint. the whole thing was daaamn funny lah, hahaha. & cheryl came! (:

after that, went back town to meet jo again, haha. ate at hong kong cafe again & by looking at wanru & sihui you can just laugh your heads off, hahaha! i'm 7 months pregnant already ): haha. i drank & i forgot there's 2.4 next week, BEST! fuck lah, ugh! went home ard 2.

say you'll never leave

you won't even bother to turn a back ;

can't really rmb what happened in sch today, hahaha. just that i think mr poon's got laughing gas that he don't use! i tend to get daaamn high during maths & i suspect its from him! :D anw, cme was fun cos we're watching this movie & the people there are like FUNNY! yiwen was making fun of them lah, bad girl hahaha. but, she can make it too lah huh :D after sch, went st margs cos vinee need to pass sth to her cousin or whoever, haha. then, to island creamery for ice cream! (: & i saw the photo the trackers took there, haha. went marina square after that with sumay & lyanne (: wha, my legs can break when i shop with them! they walk from one shop to another without fail & plus my bag was daaamn heavy, hurr ): they got nothing in the end, & lover & xinyi came to pass me sth, haha. went candy empire & some hotel just to take the lift to the 37th floor :/ hahaha. oh, & lyanne sumay & i was trying to make a flower with our tongues & we ended up playing non stop! hahaha, hope i don't have tongue cramps. & SUMAY THERE'S SUCH A THING AS TONGUE CRAMPS! hahaha.

i'm bored, & i'm so looking forward to sat. not cos of the musical but the day (:

OMG, my auntie just called & she talk talk talk NON STOP like some machine gun or sth, UGH i'm so irritated!

i miss you ):

just to waste my time with you ;


marcella hurt her foot! so had lessons at the old gym there for first 4 periods & i realised p loves to dance when she teach, hahaha! mer was nice to me today :D cos she didn't want to do sth in the morning, so thats her damn punishment, haha. during chi, char asked how to say 'cig' in chinese, & i thought she said 'secret', so i answered her 'mi mi' & she was like 'funny ah' & i was quite surprised cos isn't secret 'mi mi'?! after like a few times i realised its cig, whalao damn idiot. then, played soccer after sch! (: with vinee, limsingh & fer. quite fun lah, haha. then, sat at bus stop a while & HOME!

i need new sch shoes by tmr cos my shoes are like beyond imagination & if i wear it tmr, it'll just split into two!


this time its for real, i'm giving up my heart to you. i'm not gonna care how it feels anymore, whether to wait or to give up, its up to it. you can do whatever you like with it, which i can somehow guess what you'll do, i don't give a damn anymore. blinded by love, describes it all. guess its all just, karma. sometimes, i really do hate this. i've given all my heart into this, & nothing but hurt in return. you don't have to be sorry for anything, i brought it upon myself & foolishly fell too deep. if you really want me to give up, please don't do anything & just open up. if only i was the luckiest person, that the person i love loves me back, but oh well, i'm not that lucky enough. i screwed everything up, i don't know how're you feeling, i'm not the one you need & worse of all, lead on is the best word to say. i hate myself for all these. i don't wanna see you so stressed anymore, i just wanna see you smile no matter who you're with at the end of the day. maybe someday down the road, we'll meet again. but till then, goodbye.

you're the greatest mistake i've never regretted making, never.
i wish you'd stay, but things can't always go my way.

i wanted forever, but now i just need a second. watching your back as you turn & walk away, i know its time you go. all these memories i once had, kept rushing back to me at once leaving me breathless. i wanted so badly to hold you back, to stop you from leaving but i'd rather see you smile than tear. all i needed is to be with you to prevent these tears & you just don't seem to understand that each time i try to get closer, you'd move further. i can just watch you from afar as you walk towards that happiness you longed for. walking on the streets, i see all in pairs & i thought of the wonderful times we had that will never come true again. those were the days of my life, i hope you'd at least leave them with me. will you hold my hand when times get rough? will you be the one to be by my side when i needed someone? will i ever get to feel your heartbeat together with mine again? doubts filled my air.

if i ask, would you say yes?

love or like?

its a fact that i love you,

woke up at 10 today & my arm almost broke ): hurried out of the house at 11, & thought i was late to meet mer & char, but they were still at home lah! haha. msg gerri & told her to wait at control station, she didn't receive & walked to the library, hurr. finally, mer & char came then started the pbl thing. mer is an ulu toot! cos she haven't been to the national library before, hahaha! mer, you suck! :D i finally get to see char laugh again, i know there's a prob & we're sorry, char ): after that, they left then stayed a while with her. & she gladly tell me she can't study & wanna go the club. sent her there & i was feeling super stressed! i don't like lah, damn it. met psychic, & i saw my father & uncle on the way to esprit, haha! then, went church & my precious baby is with psychic! & the pig, i hope they're fine (: tampines mall for dinner with family at night & i hate being treated differently.

today sucked! ugh!


& all these times i've shed tears for you, they became a routine. when we hugged, i wished for forever.

one more try ;

haven't been blogging for long ): & i hate going to sch! all the stupid double periods, ugh can sleep my whole life away.

okay, went harbour today to look for slippers but don't have ): then, to chess's hse to bathe & steph's place for bbq! (: gerri they all came as well & i lost the damn bet to psychic! ugh ): wasn't intending to get wet at first but then, in the end got pushed down ): hahaha, rachel & i wanted to push wanru down again then changed target to geraldine that 'pi bao!' hahaha! & she wanted to kick me in, damn nice, hurr. changed & all, then to 7-11 cos juli wanted to eat, haha. talked to her but she was kinda in a bad mood ): waited for her bus to come & wanru & gerri were soooo irritating! keep talking to me in hokkien & i suck at hokkien lah okay, ugh! her bus came then cabbed home (:

i don't know if i shld go for tuition tmr! ):

everyday i think of different ways just to tell you how much i love you & i'll never run out of them (:

just give me one more try
for the sake of our love ;
just give me one more chance
cos i can't give you up ;
i can't live one more day
without you in my arms ;
& i'll never find another
like you.

sunshine, whr's our sunset?
imissyou.

its all left without a trace ;


okay, met sihui at town around 3 plus (: went paragon for a while then sumayyy came, haha. that pig, called her sooo many times still sleeping, hurr. ate & all then went arcade then kbox! :D was quite reluctant to go at first then we got daaaamn high! hahaha. wanted to play pool & finish up our competition after kbox but they're too lazy to move their damn asses out of the room so we stayed to 9! :D after that, they ddr-ed then sent sihui home. then, went some hotel to wait for geraldine (: everyone there wore so formal except sumay & i, hahaha! she came down a while & happily presented me to her brother as FANN WONG! ugh! anw, he's sooo tall, haha. sumayyy left ): waited for her to finish her stupid mango sago thing, hahaha. cabbed to arab street, she joined the rest & i went home (:

gladly upon this chance, i get to see your pretty face again.
if only time could stop at that moment (:

if there's one thing in this world that i know its true,
its the love that i feel when i'm thinking of you
no oceans no mountains can keep us apart.
all my hopes & my dreams are alive,
i'll carry you with me through distance & time,
nothing in this world can keep us apart
cos no one can take away someone who lives in your heart (:

its because you didn't even bother,


had the race today, & i screwed it all up ): though he said it was fine, i still doubt it lah. the relay was fantastic! :D feeling happy for them instead, haha. everything's kinda screwed up for me lah, i hate it & i don't feel the urge to do anything anymore ):

as i watch my world crashing down on me & how my heart is breaking,
i know this is over.


funny how i thought i walked on through
with my heart in one.
how i tried to get you out of my mind
but you returned, all the time
i believed i could let you go
like the fool i always am.

why do i still cry for you
dying to get closer to you everyday
& why do i still fear to face
the ghost of you.

& you know i'd do anything for you,

i hate sch! ): hurr, its all the time table's fault that i won't be running into 'wu J' anymore. you good lah simwanru! ):

headed to wanru's hse after sch! :D with lover xinyi madcow & maple (: hahaha. wanted to sleep, but ended up doing MATHS! whalao, hahaha. ordered macs cos chuyin said can't eat instant noodles, ugh. watched holland v, hahaha! fell asleep while watching (:
wanru: joy..joy..joy..
joy:(sleeping)
wanru: GIRLFRIEND..GIRLFRIEND..GIRLFRIEND!
& i woke up, hahaha! :D love you lah stupid girlfriend, lost my ring to your ddb right! tskk!

tmr's the race, & i'm feeling scared. i don't know why but i don't have the confidence, UGH!

you know i need your 'all the best'.

cos everytime i'll be the one on the losing stand,

sch is kinda boring nowadays cos i don't see any point in going to sch anymore other than to study. it used to be looking out for you, but i guess i was too foolish. had farewell for ms goh after sch & it sucks to see people leaving, hurr whatever. went holland for just a daamn while & then back to wanru's hse.

i've seriously got nothing to say cos i don't wanna be seen as so affected by what has happened while you on the other hand, don't even care. i was just merely trying to cheer you up cos you were in a bad mood, uhh anything lah okay i don't wanna be seen as petty as well. whatever i say now will be seen as a pack of rubbish to you & will never mean anything. been telling myself to give up a million times but you shld know i couldn't. i've been feeling so fucking stressed already & whats more this must happen before nationals. given everything to you & got back nothing but hurt. i'm tired.

what we once had was lost in just the moment. for you, i'd race to get you back memories that you'd throw away ; i'd use all the time in this world to get your happiness back & i'd walk a thousand miles just to see your face. so much to say but choke whenever i tried to talk, girl i've no choice but to say goodbye. till we meet again.

so long & goodbye,

trained today, & i think its kinda good at first but sucked towards the end. ): nvm, i don't feel like talking about track anymore! hurr. town after that (: sumay maple kim & novelyn were there, haha. watched zathura at lvl 9 & its daaamn nice! :D nat lim came too then, they went to sit the pirate ship :/ i hate pirate ships cos it makes me giddy! ): then, went separate ways & suamy & i ate ljs again! (: we're always eating that together, haha! home after that (:

anw, i think i'm giving up hope on everything already. after what you said today, i realise that whatever i said to you no longer matters anymore. i don't wanna assume anything thats going on in your life but can you at least tell me. i'm getting affected by this in everything that i'm doing, & i know it shldn't be like this. its just you that seems perfect & just wanna let you know that whatever i told you, i meant it.

i miss you! ):
sunshine.

we'll see how it goes
times like these i'll never forget
the road is long as i'm tripping over every step i'm walking
you're the biggest mistake i'll never ever regret making
its just about losing the thought of being with you.

can't you see that i need you?